and here we are

I had something written but I'm going to scrap it and just shoot from the hip.

Last night I went to an outdoor concert (the Good Lyfe - check it! :)) with the wonderful people I've met here. It seemed that regardless of how rowdy people on the stage were getting, I couldn't stop watching the sky. The stars. As per usual, they were mesmerizing.

I have about a million pictures of the sky here, hoping to capture the intangible. The impossible, it turns out. It was while I was watching the night sky that it finally dawned on me that I was outta here and how deeply I would miss my life here; the beauty and depth of this place.

Don't get me wrong, I am pumped to get to America. A couple of weeks ago, as I started to grasp that my time was dwindling, I decided to embrace the inevitable and be nothing but SO excited to be back under the stars and stripes; to see those I love; to be able to make change for small bills; to finally stop peeing on my feet. I have had the most amazing experiences here and feel so lucky and fortunate to have had this opportunity to see and feel all the griminess and warmth that the world has to offer. And, I might not be ready to discuss all of that right away, a lot of it will still take more processing. (I should note that I have never slept more poorly than I did in Africa. I was up for multiple hours each night, just trying to decompress and sort through everything; my mind was constantly racing!) But you know, I'm not really sure if I need to talk about it, I'd rather just live my life in accordance with the lessons I've learned.

There are certain intangibles here that are only experienced upon presence. My love affair with the sky is well known but there's also the smell, a spice that can only be described as intoxicating and uniquely African. But mostly, the souls of the Ugandan people, warm and welcoming. I never thought I'd find people who loved to have conversations with their cab drivers more than I do...then I came to Uganda. :)

One of my primary intentions behind coming to this continent was to establish my path for grad school and this is what I've discovered - I CANNOT wait to get there. I feel like I'm sitting on a fire and just need to run, I'm so excited. I've also been pretty seriously considering the idea of going further than just a masters and delving more deeply into how gender, health and education intermingle here with a PhD. I just want to learn as much as I can...and, for lack of a better term, I just want to get shit done.

I know Africa isn't for everyone. I know the pre-grad school thing isn't relevant or feasible for all. But, all else aside, I want to encourage every single person out there to take risks. Go ahead and take a flying leap outside of your comfort zone, away from your safety net...you'll like it, I promise.

There is no doubt I'll be back to Africa, it has captured my heart and changed my views on life, humanity and myself. But I'm hoping the next time I'm here a couple of you will be with me...after all, some of you have been with me every step of the way here and it only seems right that you'd get the chance to see it with your own eyes.

My deepest gratitude and thanks to each of you out there for reading along with me. The emails and messages I have received have bolstered my courage so much, they mean the world. I don't really know what to do with this blog, should I just stop writing? I am not really someone who has an immensely easy time in composing something like this; something so disclosing of my own feelings in such a public way. I am so thankful I pushed myself to do it, though; many days I struggled with the idea and finally, I just let it go and run it's course...that was a good day.

So, peace out, Uganda. You've been real and you've been fun, but "real fun" doesn't even come close to describing how bad ass you really are.

Don't forget - Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

I can't wait to hug every. single. one of you.
FS

In the meantime, would you like some street meat?



Oh, and one last thing - I will be posting some things when I get home, videos and such, so stay tuned :) Plus, I think I'm going to try to get a slide show put together, you know pictures with cheesy music? Exactly! Stay tuned for that, too. xo