numero uno

It's not too often that I'm rendered speechless, but I have looked over every conceivable website tonight as I try to avoid this blinking cursor on a blank screen. Many times in the past I've considered blogging; I even started a site once and soon realized that I was a gigantic hypocrite as I succeeded in doing the thing that drives me crazy about blogs...never update the site. My main angst around putting my thoughts and ideas into the worldwide web has been that it just feels so self adoring. So, I'm going to try to use some self awareness and take a stab here ~ all else be damned!

I leave tomorrow night at 7pm for a heck of a grueling flight to Entebbe, Uganda. I had been bemoaning my long flights and lengthy layovers when I received word that my itinerary had changed: instead of six hours, I'll now be spending 12 hours in the Nairobi airport. Annnnd, first lesson learned~ things can always get worse so stop complaining. (But seriously, surely that violates SOME sort of loitering law or empathy law; someone find me a loophole, PLEASE:)) I'm absolutelyridiculouslyinsanely excited to hit African soil and am so incredibly grateful for the opportunity to pursue my passion and throw myself way outside of my comfort zone. On that note, while it isn't a shaved head, I did chop all of my hair off on Thursday night, probably about eight or nine inches in all. I'm not really sure how one deals with hair this short, thus far I've stuck to either wearing a hat or trying to awkwardly flip it out of my face. Most likely the only thing I've succeeded in is making myself look like I have the hair cut of an 8th grade boy at a skate park.

Over these past two weeks that I've spent in Michigan, several people have inquired about my trip with a bevvy of different questions. As the days have passed I've had a more and more difficult time coming up with answers that seem legitimate and reasonable for a given question. I've realized that I'm very much trying to enter the Ugandan airspace without any expectations or preconceived notions, I even set down the African aid books that I've been devouring the past few months, and as I've been continuing on about my intentions I started to realize that those had transformed from intention to firm belief as to what ought to happen.

I immediately wiped the slate clean.

Service and volunteerism shouldn't teach us how to save the world or change a society as a whole, but instead how to change our outlook, perception and expectation, how to give back to those that have given us so much. Clearly, planning to change as a person is a bit counterproductive but if I could project one hope for myself over the next nine weeks it's that I am open and ready to accept and digest all the new experiences I'm afforded. After all, how can one learn if they think they already know what they're getting into.

I read a quote by Dorothy Kilgallen the other day that captured a particular part of the spirit behind my upcoming journey: "The world is grand, awfully big and astonishingly beautiful, frequently thrilling." So, here we go.

Catch you on the sunny side.

Oodles of love,
fe